It happens without thinking. Someone cuts us off in traffic, or a waiter messes up our lunch order, and a seemingly minor inconvenience sets us off. This seemingly minor event can even impact our mood for the rest of the day. Understanding why these situations trigger us and how we can work to become less affected by them allows us to concentrate more on the things that truly matter while improving our overall experience of life.
Here are 3 tips to let go of small inconveniences to focus on what’s really important:
1. Make a list of what upset you each week. Consider if they are worth getting upset over.
Whether we realize it or not, over time, we slowly build a list of things we allow to upset us. We stand in line at the supermarket, and someone cuts in front of us, or a trip we were looking forward to is cancelled. We allow those things to upset us, and then they become part of our internal list. We go through life making the list longer and longer. The longer the list, the more time we spend being upset by things that are relatively trivial.
We have thousands of silly situations that upset us. Think about how long the list of things that annoyed, angered, hurt, or bothered you from the past week is. Ask yourself if they really matter or if they are actually kind of silly in hindsight. Now imagine a reality where the list is very short, only including the really important things like health, family, and spiritual growth.
Make it your goal to shorten your list as much as possible, and you will find that fewer and fewer things upset you. Those irksome situations will still arise, but you’ll be able to handle them in a way that doesn’t derail your day.
2. Look for the opportunity to grow from the upset.
We often think if we could just get rid of the person or situation that is upsetting us, everything would be fine. In reality, we can’t always control or avoid life’s inconveniences, but we can change the way we view them. The key is to pause after feeling the upset and ask, “What is the opportunity here, and what do I want to get out of this? Why am I feeling what I am, and what are my options?” When you ask yourself these questions, it allows you to choose a different reaction that changes your experience.
Every interaction we have is there to show us or teach us something. Have certainty that what is happening to you is actually for your benefit. The fact it is in front of you means it is an opportunity to be curious and to gain something from it. Once you learn the lesson, not only will you feel differently about the situation, but those issues often disappear because they exist to teach you something.
3. Build your connection to the Creator through self-love and spiritual work.
The only way to fundamentally cut down the list of things that upset us is through our spiritual work, in particular, our relationship to the Creator and ourselves. When we have negative stories about ourselves, it’s easy to allow minor inconveniences to play into that narrative. If someone rejects us or brushes us off, it’s a much harder blow when we already feel unlovable or unworthy.
The benefit of deep, consistent spiritual work is that there will be so many fewer things that will upset you. When we have a healthy relationship with ourselves and the Creator, we know the power of our soul, and so it’s easier to allow things to roll off of us. Practice self-love and build your spiritual connection to the Creator so there isn’t an opening for those upsets to enter.
There will always be things that bother us or cause us to react negatively, but we can do the work to change how we view and react to those situations, slowly changing the amount of power they have over us. It’s up to us to change how things affect us. Be aware of how unimportant many of the things that bother you really are and start to view them as opportunities for growth rather than as setbacks. Above all else, concentrate your efforts on building a healthier relationship with yourself and the Creator that does not allow room for trivial things to upset you.
