You’ve probably heard the expression, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” While some challenges do make us stronger, it is not a universal truth. Some people can become emotionally crippled by their experiences. Whether we emerge stronger or weaker depends on our consciousness when we’re met with challenge.
Resilience is our ability to adapt in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threat, or stress. Resilient people utilize their resources, strengths, and skills to overcome challenges and work through setbacks. How we deal with those challenges and build resiliency is one of the most important spiritual skills for a person to develop.
Here are 3 tips to build resiliency and grow stronger from challenges:
1. Flexibility leads to joy. Aim to be less rigid and more flexible.
A lot of our dissatisfaction in life is caused when our expectations of what we thought life would be don’t match up to reality. We tend to have trouble accepting when things don’t go according to our plan. Most of the things we are rigid about are hindering our joy of life. Being rigid prevents us from seeing the blessings in our challenges and growing from our hardships. The more we open ourselves up to life’s process, the more certainty we build in the Creator, and the more we are able to experience all that life has to offer.
Think about yourself and the parts of you that are rigid. Understand that the more flexible you are, the more joy you will have out of life. Aim to find the balance between being strong and not too rigid, being able to flow with changes and unexpected events. Transforming rigidity into flexibility helps build resilience, allowing us to accept and grow from life’s curveballs. It is key to experiencing more moments of joy rather than upset and disappointment.
2. All things, even challenges, are happening for your spiritual benefit. Accept them without needing to understand all the reasons why they are happening.
When we are faced with a challenge, our first question is often, “Why is this happening to me?” It’s funny that we don’t ask that question when good things are happening to us. We just accept them as the way things should be.
The wisdom of Kabbalah teaches that we live in a perfect system where everything we experience, from the major events to the seemingly insignificant, has a thousand reasons that are beyond our comprehension. Even if we might understand some of the reasons why something is happening, it is only a fraction of its real purpose. And all of it is for the benefit of our souls, though it may not feel like it at the time.
Trust that the challenges you are experiencing are for your benefit. Accept them without needing to fully understand them. Constantly have this inner conversation with yourself. This is the consciousness that makes it easier to traverse difficult situations, learn from them, and grow stronger as a result.
3. Re-evaluate your resilience regularly. Does it take you less time to bounce back from difficult situations than it did last year?
It is very easy to test how resilient you are. Look at a challenge you experienced this year, large or small, and compare it to a similar experience from last year. Ask yourself, “Has the time it has taken me to recover shortened? Do I find it easier to recover from the situation now?” If a person is growing and using wisdom in the right way, then they will find that they bounce back faster and easier from challenges.
No matter how resilient we are right now, the goal is to continually grow our resiliency each and every day. Check in with yourself constantly to ensure that you are still growing. It is not about being perfect to the point that nothing ever bothers you, but rather how much faster and easier are you able to handle the things that are thrown at you.
The kabbalists teach that our greatest Light is revealed to us after the darkest places. One cannot grow without failure. We all experience challenges, but the key is to build resiliency through the process. It is a muscle that we must constantly develop. When you seize each opportunity to flex this muscle, you become a more positive version as a result. Do everything you can to build resiliency, so that the challenges only make you stronger, happier, and more fulfilled.
